An Interview With Bertsdude
By, REBECCA USTRELL
Illustrated by, Rebecca Ustrell
Bertsdude is a genre-fluid musician and visual artist based out of Rancho Cucamonga, CA.
Forward
On December 12, 2021, I took a trip out to the outskirts of Eastvale to meet with an artist that had been on my radar for the better part of 2021. Bertsdude (Chris Ruiz) had reached out to Curious Publishing on several occassions to inquire about a feature in one of our printed magazines. What he didn’t know at the time was that I was going through a major transition in my career and had seriously neglected my Curious Publishing inbox. Toward the end of November I had finally made a connection with him through a mutual contact. Melanie at Curated Chronicles had booked Chris as the musician for the opening day of my show Immersive Unicorn. After meeting him, I realized he was the same one who had reached out to me for a feature, as well as the winner of a Curious Publishing IG giveaway. I loved his live set so much that I invited him and his girlfriend Samantha over for Hanukkah to kick off the beginning of what is now a really meaningful collaboration. Here’s the first time I sat with Chris, and got to know him as “Bertsdude” the musician. To set the scene, I arrive in the middle of a suburban tract home development where it seemed like the middle of nowhere. I rang the doorbell and he opens the front door which lead into a picturesque and huge modern family home. These are the kinds of homes I was rarely in growing up. Everything in it’s perfect place. He lead me upstairs to the space he creates in - his bedroom.
BERT, MEET REBECCA....REBECCA, MEET BERT
R: You got connected with me when I was probably the busiest I’ve ever been in my life.
B: Probably [chuckle]
R: I think the first time I remembered one of your emails, I was already planning stuff for a work trip to New York. And I was thinking, “Okay, I’ll have to get back to this.” I had to keep a folder of all your emails and leave them unread, so that they would always be flagged. I’d be like, “I need to get back to this person.” And then I finally clicked your Spotify link, and I was like, “Okay, I really like this music, this is probably gonna work out.”
B: I’m glad.
R: I love soundscape type of stuff. So my thought was, “Okay, I don’t have to like the musician that I interview.” But since I liked it, it was a nice treat. It was like a win-win kind of. Yeah, and then... Seeing your live set at my art opening, I was like, “Okay, I’m actually emotionally moved.” [chuckle]
B: Yeah, and I mean, that event was, I was telling Sam [girlfriend] too, it was my first solo event probably since like 2018. So it was in a way pretty nerve-wracking, but I’ve been working on music constantly throughout 2021 so it just felt nice to be able to kind of showcase that in a very intimate way.
R: So how did you get linked up with Melanie at Curated Chronicles for the live set at my art show?
B: Honestly, it was just ‘cause my girlfriend and I, we’re always in [Upland], and I think I wanted to go to Penny Lane just to get one of those, like the record boxes that they have, because I’m getting her a bunch of records for Christmas and I wanted a safe place to put them, then because we’re always in Claremont, I was like, “let’s wander around” and we literally stumbled upon Curated Chronicles and just thought it was really cute. I love art galleries and little independent book stores so we went in; we’re both fans of art, we’re both fans of literature so it was perfect. As we were looking around, I was kind of eavesdropping because I overheard Melanie and a customer talking about music and I didn’t know Melanie was the shop owner. I just thought she was like a cashier or something, but when I went to go check out, I think I was buying an issue of CURIOUS because I walked in and thought “I wonder if it’s here” and sure enough there was the whole table right there. When I was paying, I asked, “Oh just out of curiosity, I think I overheard you guys talking about music, would you ever consider doing any live performances here?” She was really cool about it, she nicely said, “Yeah, with COVID though and the restrictions, it hasn’t been able to happen.” She did say though that she wanted to begin doing stuff like that and sure enough [laughter] everything just kind of fell into place. And then she was just like, “Oh yeah, we’re gonna be having a Curious event in early December if you’re interested in doing so I can give you my contact info.” We traded information, we were kind of just keeping each other updated, December 4th passed, and it all happened nicely.
R: At the art opening, did you perform a recent release?
B: Pieces from all three releases of the year. It was one piece from Drone 2, which came out in June, the rest of the acoustic set was stuff from my first album of the year, Berts, and stuff from this recent release, Tasmanian Garlic. I don’t know why I went with that name, I just thought it was funny so I went with it. One of the ambient pieces was from that as well, but it kind of transitioned into that second piece.
R: So your name is Chris, but you go by Bertsdude.
B: Yes.
R: What’s the connection? I wanna know, I have to know because I just call you Bertsdude when I’m at home. [laughter]
B: Yeah, it’s funny because when I moved to Eastvale, I didn’t really know anyone at the time just because when we moved here, we moved into an apartment simply to get an address to register me for high school, but we moved here probably two weeks prior to registration so I was new to the city, new to the environment. I was skating at the time and the first group I kind of gravitated towards was the skaters. I’ve never really been good at skating, I’ll be honest about it, I kind of suck, I know how to ride, I know how to carve, but that’s about it. There was this one trick that, I mean, I thought was cool and it’s called a bert, but it originated as a surf trick by Larry Bertlemann, I think. It’s kind of like you plant your hand on the ground, and it’s typically on a bank, and you kind of whip the board around and then you just ride back down. I always did them and I think... What was my name on Instagram before? I think it was like Larrythegoblin or something or Royceevermore or some dumb shit.
[laughter]
“I would just hear ‘BERTSDUDE’ like all loud and I’d just be like, ‘What’s up man!’
B: But then I was just like, no, I do berts a lot so then I think I just changed it to Bertsdude and then everyone started knowing me as Bertsdude. I would just be out in the nearby shopping center and I would just hear “BERTSDUDE” like all loud and I’d just be like, “What’s up man!” [chuckle] But yeah, that’s the story, and even though I don’t skate anymore, it’s kind of just stuck and that’s my pseudonym, I guess.
R: Well, it’s hard to forget, honestly, it’s like, Bertsdude.
B: Bertsdude, yeah, that’s him. [laughter]
R: I think the first time I was hanging out with you, I literally had to look at the email to be like “his name is not Bertsdude, obviously.” So what’s his name again? I’m like, Oh yeah, okay. [laughter]
B: That’s... Even on my instagram now...
R: Yeah. My partner asked me, “Isn’t that Bert?” I was like his name is not Bert.
B: It’s funny too because a bunch of people call me that.
B: In 2016 when I got my... No, not when I got my first guitar, but when I got the guitar that I really started playing on first, my friend and I at the time, Brody, we put it together so it’s kind of like a Frankenstein guitar and he said, “Oh no, it’s bad luck to have a headstock…” a headstock is where you’d tune the strings at up top.
B: And because we got that off of eBay, it was like a $30 neck or something, real cheap. It sounds like shit.
[laughter]
B: But it was just blank, it was maple finish, and he’s like, “Oh, it’s bad luck not to have anything on the headstock.” “I don’t know what to put.” So he was just like, “Why don’t you just put Bert?” So then once I started playing that guitar, a couple of friends would say, “Ooo look, it’s the Bert special,” or something, I’m like “Shut up dude.”
[laughter]
R: Do you have it?
B: Yeah actually, I played it the other night.
B: Sorry, I have to make you search for it.
[pause]
B: And it’s funny too just because some time in 2016, I was dog-sitting for my neighbor across the street...
B: There’s the Bert if you want to look at it. [Bertsdude hands guitar to Rebecca]
but I was dog sitting for some neighbors across the street. I would just head over to feed the dogs and let ‘em out real quick, they didn’t really like a lot of attention. While I was in the garage feeding them one day, I saw a guitar case in the midst of all their mess in the garage and of course, me and my curious self, I was like, “I wonder what’s in there,” so I opened it up and it was just like a regular Squier Strat. And so I was just like, “Okay, this is nice.” Then I think I DM’d the owner’s son on Instagram, and I said, “Hey, just out of curiosity, is that your guitar in the garage?” or something like that, he said, “Oh yeah, I haven’t touched it in years,” and I was just like, “Well, if you haven’t played it, how much would you want for it?” He said, “You can just take it if you want.” So...
[chuckle]
I immediately ran with this. I was like, “Okay, for sure, thank you so much,” but because it was a Squier, it’s their cheaper version of Fender…
So I just wanted to mess with it, but my friend Brody at the time, he would go to pawnshops, get really crappy guitars, and fix ‘em up big time so immediately when I got home, I was just like, “I have a project for you.” I disassembled it, and we put, I think the new neck, new hardware, new pickups, and did rewiring, and yeah, it’s the guitar that I...
R: I love it. This is a cool case.
B: [chuckle] Yeah, it’s the guitar that I started making music with so it means a lot. I’ve sold a lot of equipment just either because I didn’t play it anymore or because I needed the money, but I’ve never thought about selling this one.
R: You can’t.
B: Yeah, it’ll stay with me.
R: The story seems to have a lot of significance.
B: Yeah, exactly.
B: She’s a cutie, but there’s a lot of fret buzz, it’s when you press down on, you see right here? Let me see.
[shows fret buzz while playing]
R: Oh, yeah.
B: Yeah. It’s not really doing it too much right now, but it’s when you hit right here and the string touches this little metal piece so you kinda get a little vibration. It’s not the best, but... [chuckle] It’s not ideal. But it’s what got me started, so she’s nice.
B: That’s how I started, at least. I think I asked for a bass, I wanna say, I think the Christmas of 2015 going into 2016, but when I was a kid, I would always go through phases and everything so I think my mom maybe thought it was another phase and it wasn’t a really expensive bass, but I don’t think she wanted to spend money on an instrument if I wasn’t gonna use it at all. And so I didn’t end up getting the bass, but with what Christmas money I got, I immediately went to Guitar Center and told them, “I’ll take that one.”
And that one I think was an Epiphone Viola Bass. At the time, I was really getting into the Beatles and Paul McCartney was my everything so I wanted to get a Hofner bass, which I actually have now, that’s this one right here, and I wanted to get a Hofner bass, but I think those were a bit more expensive than the Epiphone.
R: Oh, cool. That’s beautiful.
B: I was just like, “No, I don’t want to spend too much at once,” so I ended up getting the off-brand version, but now I have the actual thing, so I’ve come full circle.
“Growing up, music wasn’t really a big part of the household or anything
R: So you started music in 2016; before that, what were your interests? Did you have an ambition or an inkling that you would dedicate a lot of your life to writing music and performing?
B: No, actually. Growing up, music wasn’t really a big part of the household or anything. My mom would listen to country music, which I don’t like; well modern country music, old stuff is nice, but then my dad, he would just listen to the typical Mexican stuff, which I love now, so that’s cool. But there wasn’t really...
R: That’s definitely something that grew on me too.
B: But yeah, it was just, it was like, “Okay, music’s cool,” but I never really thought much of it. Oddly enough, I used to listen to a lot of rap [chuckle] and electronic stuff, dubstep, this was all middle school.
R: Who were some of your middle school go-to musicians?
B: Oh God. Top five, or something?
R: It’s a bad question, but... [chuckle] What was on repeat? [laughter]
B: I don’t even remember, dude. It was a lot of rap. I remember that’s when Migos was first coming up and I think that’s when they put out Hannah Montana, Tyga was cool for some reason.
R: I was too old to like Tyga.
[laughter]
B: But then, I think, just before that, I was listening to a lot of Skrillex. He was cool. Daft Punk. I’ve always liked Daft Punk though, I still do. Yeah, it was just a weird time for music.
R: I love it.
B: I never really thought I would get into music and oddly enough, I think when maybe it was 2011, maybe 2012, that’s when I started discovering more rock and I think because I’d always liked Green Day, I remember Tre Cool, his drums, I think on ‘Basket Case’ the song, I was like, “That’s so cool.” [chuckle] So I started just air drumming, I would get pencils and just tap on random things so oddly enough, my first instrument interest was drums, actually. I started discovering that and then I slowly started getting into Van Halen and such and I don’t know where Van Halen came from, but it just popped up.
R: Was it like a friend of yours?
B: I don’t even know. Maybe...something. I think it might have been my step-dad because he would always listen to classic vinyl on SiriusXM, I think it was the Channel 26, and so I was just like, “Oh, this is cool,” so I would start listening here and there, but it was still mainly rap and electronic stuff at that time and at one point I actually wanted to be a DJ, but that didn’t pay off so. [laughter]
R: Like an electronic artist?
B: Kind of.
R: Or just like spinning?
“This playlist is so perfect, I have to show everyone.
B: More like spinning, it was weird. Like I can make an epic playlist in any situation [laughter] I think that everyone has that moment, where they’re like, “This playlist is so perfect, I have to show everyone.” [laughter] I have to remix this, I have to. [laughter] But, where was I going… But then I think once I moved out to Eastvale freshman year, I was still listening to a lot of hip-hop and rap, I think Tyler the Creator has always been very inspirational and Cherry Bomb came out I think in 2015 and so I was still a freshman, it was so cool, and I was like, “Yo, this is amazing.”
R: What about it resonated with you?
B: I don’t even know...because I remember in Anaheim I used to listen to Tyler a lot, but at that point, it was still very much hard rap, it was a lot of his derogatory stuff. When Cherry Bomb came out, I think he started experimenting more and I think he himself, he was experiencing growth within as well. His sound started changing and there was just a lot more fluctuation in his production. I had a friend, Elijah, known as Solarbroccoli, we’ve actually collaborated for two album covers now, and he was in my health class so we went ballistic when Cherry Bomb came out, we were like, “TYLER DROPPED, TYLER DROPPED!” [chuckle] But yeah, once I started hanging out with the skater kids, they were listening to more garage rock or classic rock, like Thee Oh Sees, King Gizzard, but then the old stuff was Cream, Zeppelin, like CCR kind of stuff so I was like, “Oh, this is actually really cool.” From what little they showed me, I think I just started branching out and finding stuff and here I am making music so, [chuckle] it’s a very long explanation.
R: Happens really organically.
B: Long explanation because I think it really takes a whole life’s experience before you decide to go towards a venture. Well for both of us, that was my experience. I think there’s a lot of people that are multi-talented that can suddenly shift what they’re doing and then they come back to it. But I mean music’s been pretty consistent ever since 2016 and I think once I started really listening to the Beatles…my best friend, Sam, I think he introduced me to the Beatles with Strawberry Fields in like 2007 or 2008 so I was really young and I was like, “This is really cool.” I didn’t get into them until much later on and then I would just always listen to Paul and I just really liked him, and I was like, “Okay, his bass is really cool too,” and “I wanna try that.” That’s what kind of put my foot into music and actually playing, then Christmas, like no I really wanted that bass. So I got it and then…we have a sound system downstairs so I was just playing out of the sub for the longest time until I had enough money to get an actual amp, then I got the guitar, then ever since, I’ve just kind of been expanding my collection and so now I have like…
[duck text tone rings]
[laughter]
R: I was literally looking at that duck when that happened. [laughter]
B: Yeah, I have maybe just over 20 instruments now, whether it’ll be instruments or music equipment, this is my...
[opens music equipment drawer]
B: Extras.
SHOW AND TELL
Yeah so there’s CD material, there’s a weird little flute type thing, I think I got it from a vendor at Norco College, like those vendors that sell t-shirts, flags, rings… But I found this, it was five bucks I think. This I got at an antique store, a little mini synth of sort...
R: Oh, I’ve actually used that before, a friend of mine has one. Yeah, that’s fun.
B: It’s cute. My sister got me this from Olvera Street.
R: I had one of those from Olvera Street when I was little, classic. [chuckle]
B: They’re cute. I have a couple of harmonicas, sleigh bells when you need them, tambourine.
R2: So what was your first performance?
B: My first performance was out of a garage for my friend Addae. He was just doing, I think like a pop-up shop because he made shirts, he made sweats, it was a brand. I think his brand name was Fuchsia or something, and so it was kind of like a Fuchsia pop-up shop so he was just like, “Would you wanna play or something?” And I said, “Yeah, absolutely, no problem.” And that’s when my first EP or album thing came out, it was called ‘Memories of Yesterday’, but I wasn’t a big fan of it, so once I put it on Spotify and the year was up, I was like, “No, I’m gonna just take it off,” [laughter] but I still have the CD and it’s this one actually. It’s that one.
[chuckle]
R: Why weren’t you feeling it?
B: Well, I mean, at the time, I was just, I felt it was too repetitive because I mean, it was. It was a lot of looping, and... I don’t know, it was weird. You could tell it was very primal for my first endeavor just because the insides of the covers are still white, compared to the rest that are like half designs and everything.
But that one had just come out so I thought, “Yeah, I’ll play it, why not?” It was odd because it was just me, my chair, this one maybe, and my classical acoustic that my dad got me for graduation. I was the opener for maybe two or three rap groups after so it was contradictory because it was soft and cute acoustic.
R: You know, the rap guys like that stuff. [laughter]
B: Yeah it was soft acoustic music to begin with and then like dadadadada after and so it was funny, but yeah, it was a cool experience. I think I messed up on one song just because I was really nervous.
R: Do you remember how you felt when you’re performing for the first time?
“Nervous as hell.
B: Nervous as hell. [laughter]
R: Nervous, anything else?
B: Yeah and I think I was just excited because it was, I mean, my first performance ever. And it was in front of like a bunch of friends, mutuals so it wasn’t like I was performing to strangers, but...
R: Do you think that you would have been able to perform if it wasn’t for having a close friend? Do you think that that’s why you started performing?
B: Most likely, yeah, because he was the one that reached out and in the back of my mind, I think I had always thought about performing, but I was a bit skittish about it. I just didn’t really tackle it too much so that’s how that went. He reached out and I just said, “Sure, why not?” And then, I think he was doing a promo for either his brand or for the show and asked if I could make a song for it as well. It was a minute-long song or something and it was cute. It’s slo-mo video and he does this weird editing style where there’s a lot of saturation and kind of animation to the video, but it still looks like actual, like footage. But... So we compiled that and the show was cool. I still have the little mini flyer. It’s probably like that big or something. It was just cool because I think he started plastering them around on stop lights around the city and I was walking home from school one day and I’d seen it on the street light across the street. It was just cool to see Bertsdude on something, you know?
R: That’s cool. It’s got history.
B: Exactly, but then we did that and then I think that was like my only performance for a good while. I joined the music program at Norco and then there, I just connected a lot with the musicians so playing felt very natural and organic. We had to do showcases as well and when I’d get there at the school or elsewhere, I was still really nervous, like my hands would be a little shaky, but it just felt nice to play for people. I think the biggest place we played was the OC Fairgrounds. There were a lot more people than I was used to [laughter] because the auditorium I think held up to 100 people, maybe if that, but then OC Fairgrounds, there was like, probably close to like 300 so I was like, “Holy shit.” [laughter]
R: Yeah, that’s funny. You’re talking about your experience and then I’m like remembering whenever I would perform in orchestras when I was younger, I played cello.
B: Yeah, Sam [Rebecca’s partner] was telling me.
R: But I used to play violin.
I actually don’t own a cello anymore, but that was like the last instrument that I was actually serious on and...
B: Cellos are really cool.
R: I think the only reason why I was down to perform was because orchestras are huge and you pretty much disappear in the group because you’re all wearing black. [laughter]
B: Yeah. Exactly.
R: But I grew up with like major stage fright, didn’t want to be called on to read in class, it was just like, no. [chuckle]
FRIENDLY DUDE
B: No, I’ve always been outgoing...
Talkative. I’ve always been a very big people person. I was always the kid that like at the big field of VictoriaGardens when it wasn’t like gated off. I would just see random kids all grouped together and I would just go up to them, no problem and be like, “What are you guys playing?” And then just join in for tag...
R: That’s so sweet.
B: Or whatever, say bye, and never see them again.
R: Yeah, I was the opposite, I was afraid of everything. [laughter] I was afraid of everything, but that was like my first, wetting my feet into being comfortable with other people, I was just skittish. I had my siblings and that’s what I knew so when they weren’t around, I’d be like, “Who are these little kids?” [laughter] because I think I started [playing] like fourth grade and I did all the way up to junior year of high school.
B: That was a good while though.
R: Yeah good while, but before doing that, there’s no way that I would have liked...
B: You were just very to yourself.
R: Yeah. The fact that I did music is probably why I’m comfortable now with public speaking and connecting to people because you’re...
B: I mean, you’re holding events now.
R: Yeah, like you’re put into an environment where now all of a sudden you have to collaborate with 20 kids. [chuckle]
R: [Points to an album] What’s this one called?
B: Memories of Yesterday. Yeah. I don’t know why I went with that, but some stuff just kind of came out and bam.
R: It resonated with you at the time.
R: Yeah. Some stuff just comes out and you just roll with it. But...
R: Yeah. What would you say influences the songs that you write? What are your songs about? Are they all over the place? Do they kind of have a theme?
B: I think just pretty random stuff. Yeah, there’s a song on here called “Friends.” There’s a song called “Brother.” “Friends” is pretty just self-explanatory. “Brother” was about my best friend Sam. There’s a song called “Goodbyes,” that’s about my dad and I think it was just me on a 12-string just strumming just really pretty chords. I’ve had a pretty consistent thing with interludes and ever since I’ve been making albums like track number five, if it makes it to five and up, it’s some variation of interlude. So I think on Berts in the beginning of the year, track five was “Kirt’s Interlude,” just because my friend Kirsten made a vlog kind of YouTube account and so she was just like, “Oh, can I... Can you make me a song so I can play in the background?” And I said “Hell, yeah.” So it’s my first score in a way, but then I just really liked it, so then when that was coming out, I asked, “Hey, can I use it on the album?” She’s like, “Yeah, it’s your song, dude. Go ahead,” but because I made it for her, I called it “Kirt’s Interlude,” because she goes by Kirt. “Drone” only had four tracks so that didn’t have an interlude, but then for Garlic, I think that’s “July 13 Banjo Interlude,” and that’s just, its a minute of a little strumming with notes here and there, but yeah, sometimes stuff just comes out of the air and not...
R: Well, you’re just saying that, but to make a whole song like that, I know that it’s more than just…it’s because all you really said was “random.” [chuckle] It probably sounds like a silly question, but why would you write a whole song about your friends and what did it sound like?
B: I don’t know, just because I...
R: And were you trying to achieve a certain feeling?
B: I had a lot of support going into the project and just felt it’d be a nice ode to my friends…
So I did it and there’s just random songs on there. I think it’s easier to have meaning in a song when there’s lyrics and everything, but literally all my stuff has been instrumental, except for the very last track on Garlic and that was just a poem that I wrote, but it’s more spoken word, it sounds like it’s through a distant megaphone. I’m not too comfortable with my voice on track yet, but it’s a step. [laughter] Yeah, but I think there was more meaning in the last album, for sure.
R: Let’s talk about it.
B: Let me see the track list. Okay, so “Ongoing Conversation,” track one, I sampled, well, this was on a hike with...
R: Now, we’re talking about?
B: This is the recent one, Tasmanian Garlic, and track one, it was just when my girlfriend and I were on a hike and there were just a lot of birds because there were a bunch of trees so of course there’s gonna be birds. I love bird sounds in anything and so I just recorded it on my phone, shot that into GarageBand, and then made a little song. That one’s just us talking about random stuff while hiking, which was nice. “Voice Memo 84” I think it literally was a voice memo. I didn’t really edit it much after, probably added a tiny bit of reverb, but that’s about it. [chuckle] My voice memos are just full of random riffs, ideas; there’s maybe old demos on there, but that was just one that was really pretty so I threw it on. “Dear Sister,” is a song for my sister and she was just always bugging me, she’s like, “You don’t love me. You never made a song about me,” so here’s your song. It was a repetitive kind of fingerstyle guitar, electric, but in the background, I’m messing with a delay pedal just to create this weird glitchy sound. “It Makes Me Sick” was just a random song, but with emotional ties just because a lot has been going on in the past couple months so that’s what happened with that, but it still sounds pretty so it’s nice. It’s kind of like a blanket.
R: It’s nice. I got you.
B: “July 13 Banjo” was just something to fill in the interlude song so it was just something out of the air, but Oh Sees, when they were in their beginning stages, they made a song which I think was called “Banjo Sold for Rent” or something related to rent money. It was just literally random, they were plucking just random shit, but I liked it and wanted to do something like that. “Of Death and Love,” I made that one with my sweetheart and it was kalimbas, me on sax, and then...
R: You play sax?
B: No, but I mess around on sax. [chuckle]
R: You can mess around.
B: I can doodle around, yeah. Your Sam was just like, “Oh, as long as you can play a clean note, you can play saxophone,” so I guess I play sax. We always go to the folk…Folk Music Center? That music Store, yeah, in Claremont, and I think she started messing around with a zen bowl, I think it’s called, where you tap it.
R: Yeah, the singing bowl?
B: Yeah so I bought her one and I think we started messing around when we went back some time after, but I think I was on a bigger one. She had her size so we started harmonizing in a way with them. The same with the kalimbas because I went out and got one as well. I got a deeper tone, she had hers, and just started messing around; it’s very avant-garde and there’s not much structure to it, or time. A lot of these pieces, I didn’t even have a metronome going or have a set tempo. I just press record and if it comes out good, it makes the tape. “Let it Out, it’s Okay” was a song that I made for my girlfriend. I think she was crying a lot that day, some stuff was going on, so it’s a little acoustic song of me just messing around again thinking not everything has to be perfect and so structured so it’s okay to kind of mess around, let things out hence “Let it Out, it’s Okay”. That’s how it came about. “Virgin Mary Demo’’ was just me noodling with a kind of traditional classical guitar fingering style. At the time of recording, Samantha was just in bed, but she had one of the little Mexican blankets that had the Virgin Mary on it and didn’t know what to call the tune, looked at the blank, and I was like, “Okay.” [laughter]
R: It’s a good story. [chuckle]
B: “Untitled Drone” was just the product of me listening to Drone 2 and wanting to fit something like that in here somehow. It came out really pretty though. “Columbidae Sun.” Columbidae is actually, I think, the scientific term for a pigeon. So, but the way it sounds, it’s very much...
R: Gonna need that written down, I’m not going to be able to transcribe that one. [laughter]
B: No, it’s like Columbus and then...Lumbidae. Yeah.
But the song is very Blackbird inspired so I wanted to tie in a bird somehow and then sun just sounded pretty with it. Track 11 was just the spoken word poem. I don’t know, I just wanted to write something pretty and so I wrote down some pretty stuff and finally put my voice on tape in a formal way. Yeah. [chuckle]
R: So, your approach to music sounds organic.
B: Very much so, yeah. It’s kind of... What is... I know it’s hard to describe the artistic process, especially since it’s, when it’s happening. Well, for me, when it’s happening, it’s kind of like a daze. Kind of when you’re really in it, you’re kind of so in it that you don’t really know how I got there, but that it got there.
R: So what’s your process like? Do you start with just kind of messing around and then it kind of develops or just describe... Pick... What’s one of the songs that you really remember creating on this last album, like maybe your favorite or maybe just the most fun?
B: On the last one?
I would say either “Of Death and Love” or maybe “Columbidae”, just because I had been working on “Columbidae” for the longest time and it was just an idea for maybe months. With a lot of my stuff, I’ll get the idea and I’ll just record it either within that week, but I hadn’t done anything with it so I finally put it on tape and it was just really pretty sounding so I was happy to finally get it recorded. There’s this dreamy reverb on there that I try to emulate with the pedal, but it’s close somehow, but on the song, there’s kind of more of like a distant swelling to it, but it doesn’t create a climax to where it just crashes or anything. As for the process, I listen to so much music, it’s annoying. I probably have close to 6,000 song saved on my Spotify and with a lot of my stuff, now I just listen for inspirations and if I like a certain style of music, if I like a specific artist, I’ll listen to either that artist or stuff similar to that style of music, and I’m just like, “Okay, I wanna try this.”
[chuckle]
So that’s how Drone came about because I listened to “The 12” Synth” by Osees. The project is 40 minutes, but there’s only two songs so each are about 20 minutes. With my project, I think it was about 44 minutes, but there was only four songs. My friend Gus and I, we did a 30-minute little jam, I guess, or like a session so then we just split that up and then the other two songs just came about. I think with Garlic, I’ve just always loved soft acoustic songs. I don’t know. I was just like, “Okay, let me try to make something like that now.” And it happened. [chuckle]
“dreamy and spaciness
R: Do you have a certain sound you’re trying to achieve when you put it together, because I love... From my perspective, there’s like consistence, like dreaminess.
B: In a way, yeah. Yeah, just because I think, I’ve never had a band or anything. The closest thing to a band is probably when I was at Norco and I would be playing with other people, but my stuff has always just been me and the occasional feature here and there. For the most part, it’s just been me so I think with the dreamy and spaciness of the songs, I just want to compensate for the lack of people included so that way if and when I get to perform such songs, it doesn’t feel so singular, so it just feels like it’s very wide if that makes sense.
R: So the attempt is to make a well-rounded...Sound, kind of...Blooming.
B: Yeah, exactly and there’s always a lot of reverb involved and some delay here and there, but... Yeah.
Mac DeMarco, John Dwyer, Jim Croce, Frank Zappa
R: Do you have major influencers to your sound?
B: Yeah, definitely. Early on, it was very much Mac DeMarco, he was my biggest thing for the longest time. Now, just a lot of John Dwyer, he’s the leader of Osees, but then he does venture into freak jazz and a bunch of improv stuff and that’s actually what the next project is gonna be revolved around, just like improv or a very kind of free-flowing, weird stuff. I don’t know how to explain it, but yeah. So John Dwyer, there’s a lot of old kind of... What’s that word? Like acoustic artists I know, I love Jim Croce, have you heard of him? He’s amazing. But yeah, Jim Croce is amazing. I love the Grateful Dead a lot, and for the weird stuff, I would say maybe Frank Zappa as well, like he’s...
R: Trust me, I know all about Frank Zappa, because of my partner, Sam. [laughter]
B: Yeah, he did mention that his favorite album was I think Uncle Meat, and that was... You know ‘69 for the Mothers because I know it was a very weird time, not in general... Well I mean, it was a weird time in general, but he’s always been very avant-garde experimental and even his influences, like Edgard Varèse he was... It was almost scary sounding. I remember introducing Samantha to him as well and there’s a lot that she doesn’t like just because of how weird it is and not structured it sounds, but it’s okay.
Well, kind of like music for musicians, like there’s music for people that want to feel a certain way when they’re listening, but unless you’re a true nerd, you wanna hear all the sounds like you’re not…When you can understand poly rhythmics in the background, the drums are playing one time and then the guitar per se is playing in another time.
R: Freestyle or...
B: Exactly yeah, that’s when you actually get to appreciate it and I think that’s why I gravitate towards it so much and just because it’s so weird too, and...
R: Yeah, it’s grown on me, for sure.
B: I think that’s one reason I love jazz so much too, just because... Yeah, there’s a structure to songs, but then when they start improvising, it’s just... Everything’s off the top of their head. I love jazz very greatly, it’s probably my second favorite genre, behind just general rock. Like it’s my favorite generally yeah.
Yeah, but I... I think just artists in general that aren’t scared to try weird things or new things or just stuff that people might not like. I think that’s really cool too, just because they’re making it for their own purpose and it’s kind of what I do in a way. I’ll make my projects and I’m not some big known artist, of course, so whenever I make an album, I’ll typically follow with a physical release like a CD or like for Drone, we did cassettes so I go into it just like I’ll make the CDs and if people wanna buy it, cool, they can have it as well, but if not, my sole purpose in making CDs and music is just to get what was once in my head out to the world, and that’s...a thing.
I love collecting vinyls, I love collecting cassettes, and I think just having something physical that was once in your head is really nice. That’s why I make CDs and I think for Drone, like the J-card format, it just looked really cool as a poster so I made a small one too.
R: That looks great.
B: There’s literally only two that we’ve done because it’s just that one for me and one for Gus.
R: It could be a lot of fun designing J-cards. We have done three cassette releases. Yeah, we did Jimmy Crates, he does local rap, but kind of ambient stuff, it’s really interesting, Wundr., and then Schles, which is experimental electronic and he’s in the Bay Area, it’s one of Sam’s old frat buddies. Sam and I are actually on one the tracks like… kind of how, exactly how you described, you and Sam just kind of playing random instruments, there’s no real structure to it.
B: I think he told me about the violin story.
R: Yes, he did violin and some vocals and I did... I think I was on his bigger keyboard. Yeah, I don’t even know the proper terms for this so I’m like, “Go play your piano.” He’s like, “It’s not a piano. I don’t have a piano.” Because pianos are very... either an upright piano or a grand...
B: He’s like “You can do fake piano sounds.” [laughter]
R: But I was doing like bells or something, like the tone was like a bell or something, like...
B: Yeah, like a synth probably.
R: But the tone was like a bell, it’s like a synth thing. His friend, Noah Schlesinger, that’s where Schles comes from, he had different synths, basically, and it was basically playing these like...
B: For that stuff, you had to have a good arsenal of synths and...
R: Yeah, I think he is on a Korg, playing a loop that was kinda... It kinda sounded like how you would think a UFO would sound like. Like...
[vocalization]
B: That’s one thing that I love about that synth, actually, is ‘cause there’s a setting called “message from”, and it’s literally like your stereotypical like... Like it’s just funny because it literally sounds what you would expect a UFO to sound like. This one’s really cool too because as it’s tuning, you can play a little game. [laughter]
R: That is so dope. How much was this?
B: I don’t know, actually. Sam bought this for me, probably like a couple of months into dating so I was like, “You’re really cool, you bought me a whole synth.” [laughter]
R: I bought Sam this keyboard after two months of dating and he’s like, “You bought me this giant ass freaking keyboard.” [chuckle]
B: Hell yeah, that’s the shit dude.
R: Yeah and now I bought him almost all his pedals.
B: Exactly. So the…
[plays alien sounds]
R: Oh my God. [laughter]
[music]
B: It’s just like...
R: It’s like aliens are landing. That is so cool.
B: And I mean, that’s the synth that I used for a majority of Drone and then that’s the one that I used on the drone song off of Garlic so it comes in handy for very spacey sounding stuff.
R: Would you say that you have kind of like a mission statement or a theme with your music.
B: If there’s a message, I’d probably just say, “If you wanna do it, do it.” I mean, that’s what I do and the songs they don’t have much meaning, sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. My sound fluctuates a lot there. I’ll get people asking me, “Oh, what genre do you play? Or what’s your sound?” And I’m like, “I don’t know,” because it’s all over the place. Berts was more indie, alternative kind of, Drone was heavily ambient synth, improvised stuff, and then Garlic is soft acoustic stuff. The next album is gonna be improvised, experimental stuff.
R: Yeah, for me it was like ambient, shoegaze.
B: Yeah. [laughter] I’m like shoegaze, I don’t know, it’s noise, it’s good noise. [chuckle] Like I said, when I take influence, if my ear likes something and I feel up to the challenge of making something that sounds like that, then I will. [chuckle]
R: Yeah. One more observation for me, I think that’s something that’s really interesting is that artists that don’t want to put themselves in a box, usually have a lot more room for opening themselves up to experiences, first of all, and experimentation which is where growth comes from. It’s kind of like constantly being a work in progress is where you wanna be, in my opinion.
B: And it definitely gives you a lot more space and opportunity to find what you actually enjoy. Also like forgiveness of yourself if you can’t achieve the sound...
And I mean, depending on the artists too, if they don’t like the way something came out, it just crushes them, but I’m like, “Okay, and I tried it. It’s out in the world. It’s cool.” But yeah, I just try to do whatever my ear likes, whatever my fingers are capable of doing, and so that’s where a good majority of this stuff from the last year onward is coming from.
R: Cool. So a wrap-up question because I’m gonna be asking everyone this. What does empathy mean to you?
B: It could mean a good couple of things just. If you empathize with someone, no matter what your circumstances are, you should always try and understand or feel for whatever someone else is going through. If someone’s mean to you or something, like yeah they’re mean to you, but what’s their home life like? What are their circumstances like now or in the past that have shaped that person into acting the way they are, the way that their personality is, or anything? But then empathy in general is just a lot of feeling. I mean, we all feel whether it’s strong or good or bad. We all feel as humans. I mean, if you don’t feel, that’s pretty bad.
“It’s cool to feel sad every now and then
[laughter]
It’s cool to feel sad every now and then because I think it’s the low points that really give you a sense of your good times and your highs in hindsight. It’s really nice, but then just... I think feelings in general, they’re capable of bringing a lot of people together, whether they realize it or not. You said, when I was performing, it hit you in an emotional way and I was like, “Oh, that’s cool. I’m glad it did.” So, and I mean, probably going into the project, I wasn’t thinking about, “Oh, this is gonna make Rebecca feel this way on December 4, 2021,” but that’s what happened. And I mean, I think that’s one thing that’s beautiful about music and art in general, just because it’s capable of bringing a lot of people together. With that, they can have new connections, new friends, whether they be maybe a couple of months or like a couple of dates to life-long bonds and it’s a beautiful thing.
As seen in CURIOUS Magazine Winter 2022 Empathy + Resilience .