The Secret Behind My Empathy with Michael Tennant
With MICHAEL TENNANT,
FOUNDER & CEO AT CURIOSITY LAB and CREATOR of ACTUALLY CURIOUS
Illustrated by Rebecca Ustrell
Michael Tennant, is an award-winning media, advertising, and nonprofit veteran for companies like MTV, VICE Media, P&G, CocaCola, and Google. In the 2000s, he sat front seat to the rise of VICE, today’s leading voice in millennial media, and brought with him a dedicated approach to long-term authentic community building. He created Curiosity Lab to be a radical example in media and advertising of business diversification and progressively inclusive hiring practices. Today, Curiosity Lab is a growing product, content, and consulting business that uses storytelling to drive change.
How have you used empathy to practice resilience in your everyday work routine?
Empathy and consistency have been my guide and the secret to my recent good fortune. At first, this routine of consistent empathy check-ins with myself literally saved my life. When I learned of the passing of my older brother, I turned to the habits that gave me a guaranteed instant escape, drugs, and alcohol.
It was when my body seized up and I thought I’d have a heart attack if I went to sleep, that I knew I needed to form some other habits or it would cost me my life.
From a life or death situation to living every day as though it might be my last. Reflective questions became my default. Questions like, if today was my last on this earth, how would I want to spend it? Or, if the way I’m spending my time, with this person, or that task, doesn’t feel good to me, then what’s the point in me doing it?
Empathy, my dear friends, is not about how I treat other people. It’s a part of it, yes, but the real daily consistent work is more about how I respond to the emotional quality of what I encounter. How am I feeling? How are those who are involved feeling?
It is a different orientation toward the world than what I was taught, or what I know naturally, so it really does take daily practice.
The good news is that this approach has allowed me to work at a high level, while also listening in for signals that I need a break in order to remain resilient. My body has some consistent ways of warning me about burnout. My shoulders might get tense. My skin might be sensitive to the touch. These are extreme cases that I’ve only recently learned.
Some relatable ones to most people might be the pit that might develop at the top of my abdomen every time a name or situation is brought up. Or a situation that visits me in my sleep, my meditation, or when I’m trying to rest and be at play. These were once the very situations that I drowned in a bottle and obsessed over with willing commiserates and some lines. Today, these are the uncomfortable situations that I address head-on with myself and the ones that I love.
I lost my brother on July 19th, 2019, a Friday. I spent the weekend journeying to my emotional and addiction rock bottom. On Monday, July 22, 2019, I started the daily routine you find on the next page. And the rest is the history that unfolds before you today.
As seen in CURIOUS Magazine Winter 2022 Empathy + Resilience .